Inside the Head of an Erotic Writer | An Interview With Erin Pim
Are you intrigued by all things erotic? Do you find you’re often daydreaming about sex or sexual encounters? Well, you’re absolutely not alone. Sex is something which is constantly on our minds, in fact, some research has shown that men think about sex about 19 times a day, and women 10. We don’t know about you, but we’d say our number is a lot higher than 10. Point being, sex is everywhere. It’s all around us and it’s on our minds constantly. We believe that expression and exploration are necessary when it comes to our feelings and desires, and because we can’t exactly go around acting on our sexual urges and desires at all times, we can channel this energy into other things, such as the creative! So, if you’re as interested by the erotic as we are, reading (or writing!) erotic fiction might be right up your alley.
Erotica is an excellent alternative to porn because it subtracts the body from the equation. There is no visual aspect, so it is up to you to use your imagination and it becomes a far more personal and transcendent experience than simply watching other people have sex on a screen. It’s interactive, it’s provocative, and it’s incredibly sexy. The thing is, when erotica is bad, it’s really bad. So, we wouldn’t want to subject you to any of that nonsense. If you’re looking for good, thoughtful, well-written, (very) sexy erotica, you should turn to Erin Pim, you will NOT be disappointed.
Erin Pim is a writer of erotic fiction, some of her titles including The House of Erotica, Sugar Baby, Play It Safe: ME, Absolute Lesbian Sex, and a whole lot more. Additionally, Erin is the producer of The Bedpost Podcast, “Toronto’s Sex and Sexuality Variety Show, complete with monthly stage performances and a weekly podcast.” So, as you can imagine, Erin is an incredibly cool, open-minded individual who we simply had to reach out to. We spoke to Erin about erotica, her books, her podcast, and a whole lot more.
If you’ve ever picked up a romance novel at a grocery store, you’ve probably come across the words “member” or “manhood” in reference to male genitalia. No one speaks like that, those words rarely exist in our everyday lives, and they’re just plain cringy. Our first question addressed just that.
Psych N Sex : What are your go-to words to use in the place of “penis” and “vagina”?
Erin: I find “cock” and “pussy” work just fine, and read pretty neutral. It’s important to use words that fit the mood of the piece, however, so I’ve been known to use “cunt” and “dick” during aggressively charged scenes, or “erection” and “folds” or “opening” for more romantic moments. I’m not a fan of overly metaphoric words for genitals unless the material specifically calls for it. If the author calls a vulva a “flower,” I’m out.
PNS: We read that you kicked off your erotic fiction career by writing an erotic piece as a joke. We think this is amazing! Do you feel that this sort of light approach to the pornographic is beneficial? We feel that not taking yourself too seriously is key to everything sexual, does this translate into the erotic arts as well?
Erin: Definitely! In general, I like to make my scenes realistic and identifiable, so highlighting and poking fun of awkward moments is something I often do. Especially first time stories. How often, when you have sex with a new partner or try something completely out of your comfort zone, does it run seamlessly? Not very. And it’s important in erotica, for the reader to see themselves in the characters, and picture themselves in the situations.
PNS: Is writing erotica something you ever thought you would do?
Erin: I have a long history with fiction writing, and an equally in-depth interest with sex and sexuality, so it wasn’t so odd to see them come together in this way. Most of my regular writing pieces contained erotic content, so it felt very natural to make the switch. The sex scenes in books have always been my favorite parts to read, even when I was quite young, and I’ve always enjoyed taboo subject matter. My favorite book of all time might be Anne Marie MacDonald’s Fall On Your Knees.
PNS: What were some personal apprehensions you had about the world of erotic fiction when you were first starting off?
Erin: For a while, I contemplated whether I should publish under my own name or an alias. I do performance and visual art as well and have always used my own name. I talked it over with my partner and my family and ultimately decided to present a unified front for my art, regardless of the content. This way, I actually get all the credit for the good work I do. And I don’t get harassed any more than every woman does every day on dating apps, anyway.
PNS: Do you feel that all voices, bodies, and groups are properly represented in the industry? If not, which do you feel are predominantly misrepresented or underrepresented?
Erin: Of course not. The porn industry is deeply racist, homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic. In mainstream porn (including erotica), marginalized people are not being represented unless they’re being fetishized. There are small companies, pornographers, and authors that exist solely to represent all voices, bodies, and groups, and we need to support them. The most important thing to do is pay for porn from the independent companies you want to see flourish and succeed.
PNS: What do you feel are the advantages and disadvantages of subtracting the visual aspect of erotica?
Erin: The advantage of erotica vs. visual porn mediums is that the imagination is limitless. The reader can take the text, and manifest the exact picture of their desire in their own mind. They are not limited by what the director or editor has decided is sexy. The disadvantage, if there is one, is that the mind needs to be present and engaged. If you’re too lazy or tired, which can be totally valid, then flick back to the visual mediums that create all the pictures for you.
PNS: How do you feel people typically react when they find out you’re an erotic writer?
Erin:
They think I’m a total nympho. Which is completely true.
PNS: What are some challenges you face when writing from perspectives different than your own, perhaps a different sexual orientation or gender?
Erin: I’m a queer person, which might actually be to my advantage when it comes to writing from different perspectives. I feel I can write from all orientations and genders quite easily because there is always some overlap with my real life identity. For whatever it’s worth, I tend to get published for stories that feature a female lead. Perhaps it’s because I have the most experience there, and they’re legitimately my best stories. That, or it perpetuates the myth that only women read erotica.
PNS: Where do you feel that your creativity is derived from? How do you find inspiration?
Erin: I most often find inspiration through my personal sexual experiences. Each story usually starts with a real moment, feeling, or desire, and becomes more and more fictional the further it gets fleshed out. Second-hand experiences are also a huge source of inspiration. I talk about sex constantly with a range of people, from sex workers to sex educators to everyday people, so I accumulate a lot of source material.
Once, I asked a coworker for an inspiration word, and she said “lemon.” Immediately, I thought of a lemon scented cleaning product. The main character turned out to be a blushing cleaning lady, and her client was a quiet man. A writer, who kept to himself. She eventually discovers that he writes erotica and not only that but that he has been writing about her the entire time. The eleven o’clock number takes places in a bathroom, while she gives the bathtub a deep clean.
PNS: Is there an underlying political, psychological, or philosophical dialogue that you are propelled by when creating? Put simply, is there an overarching reason, question, or movement that you are embodying through your work?
Erin: I’m a feminist and a sex positivity advocate. The script I’m working with is that women should be able to pursue full, fulfilling sex lives, with no consequences, judgment, or shame. And that regardless of her age, color, history, socioeconomic status, and body type, she should feel empowered to seek that out, in whatever way she pleases.
PNS: How does your work connect with others? Is there one thing you would want individuals to take away from your creations, what would that be?
Erin: An orgasm.
And there you have it.
In addition to writing erotica, Erin also produces an outstanding podcast which covers all bases: funny, interesting, engaging, inclusive, provocative, and so much more. In Erin’s words, here’s what you need to know about the podcast:
Bed Post is Toronto’s Sex and Sexuality Variety Show, and it features erotica readings, burlesque, real sex stories, LGBTQIA comedy, Sexpert Q&A’s, sensual songs, sexy giveaways, and more. I do the show monthly and offer more in-depth conversations with the performers/experts on the weekly radio show, The Bed Post Podcast. I put a lot of work and heart into both, so please go check them out!
Sex is meant to be talked about, like everything else in life, and by acknowledging it and discussing it we are working to end the stigma and work towards a better circulation of information. Podcasts and things such as this are invaluable in the world of sexuality and sex-positivity, so please, check out the Bed Post, we know you will adore it as much as we do.
Additionally, we’d like to encourage you to find an avenue for sexual exploration and self-discovery that works for you, whether that be porn or erotica, it’s worth a try! We have SO much sexual energy within us and surrounding us day to day, outlets such as creativity, erotica, and masturbation or beneficial beyond compare and honestly, just necessary. Sex exists, we are sexual creatures, so let’s talk about it and let it be part of our realities.
Erin Pim is an inspiration through her literature, her podcast, and her general way of being. Advocating for sex-positivity is something we hold near and dear, so we could not be more excited about Erin and what she’s up to! Check out Bed Post, and give some (or all) of Erin’s books a read!
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