Twining with your Partner? You’re Not Weird

May 27, 2017


Twining with your Partner? You’re Not Weird

According to scientific studies, there are at least two reasons we look like our partners.

We seem to choose partners who look like us in the first place, and the longer we’re with a partner, the more we come to look like them.

Subconsciously, we are attracted to people who look similar to us because we are attracted to their genes. We want to mate with others who have similar genes to our own. We know that our genes are “good,” and have been passed down without issues, so we want to continue that pattern.

Studies have shown that the longer a couple is together, the more they look alike.

Why? There are a couple (get it) of theories.

One theory is empathy; couples who are together for long periods of time, obviously, spend a lot of time together and share emotions. Because sharing and empathizing often results in mirrored facial expressions which can lead to similar patterns of wrinkles and creases.

Another theory is the relationship’s environment. Couples are doing the same activities, eating the same foods, getting the same amount of sleep, ect. Each of these shared activities affects the body and, in turn, the appearance!

More Recently

This 2017 study done at UC Davis found physical and personality-based similarities between one’s past partners.

People usually dated people who were about as attractive as themselves confirming the model of assortative mating and producing a history of exes with similar attractiveness. There is also a tendency to match with your partners’ levels of masculinity, femininity, and dominance.

IQ, educational aspirations, and religious preferences are more dependent on the social context. However, this similarity was attributed to the reasoning that most people dated those that they went to school with or lived near, not because they actively sought out and selected educated or religious people.





 Rushton, J., & Bons, T. (2005). Mate choice and friendship in twins: Evidence for genetic similarity. Psychological Science, 16, 555-559. doi:10.1111/j.0956-7976.2005.01574.x

 Penton-Voak, I. S., Perrett, D. I., & Peirce, J. W. (1999). Computer graphic studies of the role of facial similarity in judgements of attractiveness. Current Psychology: A Journal for Diverse Perspectives on Diverse Psychological Issues, 18, 104-117. doi:10.1007/s12144-999-1020-4

Zajonc, R. B., Adelmann, P. K., Murphy, S. T., & Niedenthal, P. M. (1987). Convergence in the physical appearance of spouses. Motivation and Emotion, 11, 335-346. doi:10.1007/BF00992848

Eastwick, P. W., Harden, K. P., Shukusky, J. A., Morgan, T. A., & Joel, S. (2017, March 2). Consistency and Inconsistency Among Romantic Partners Over Time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication.

  1. […] belief systems, there’s evidence that we’re more likely to choose those who resemble us physically as […]


    Excellent post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I'd be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Many thanks!

  3. mähroboter honda

    I love looking through a post that will make men and women think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  4. mähroboter bei obi

    I couldn't resist commenting. Well written!

  5. After checking out a number of the blog posts on your web page, I seriously appreciate your way of blogging. I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near future. Please check out my web site as well and let me know your opinion.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.