So, if you’re like me and you’ve suffered through some substantially cringe-worthy exchanges, you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve found some room in which to operate for even the biggest sexting prudes.
Honesty is the Best Policy
If someone is tossing out crude one-liners that you’re definitely not cool with, you don’t have to act like you are. Give ‘em an inch, and they’ll take a mile. Rather than just side-stepping those awkward statements and responding with something you are comfortable with, set the tone for the entire interaction by letting them know that you’ll be taking the lead. Taking the lead probably sounds like the exact opposite of what you want to do, but all it means is saying something like “let me tell you what I want to hear” or “there’s nothing sexier than hearing someone tell me____.” It’s all about consent, so please don’t hesitate to say that something isn’t okay if it doesn’t feel right.
Keep it Simple
Sexting doesn’t have to sound like an excerpt from an adult fiction novel found in a drugstore, it can be as simple as telling someone what you want to do to them later. Leave no room for response, keep it short and sweet, and begin and end it all in one fell-swoop. Another great option that isn’t too risky is letting your partner know what you’ll be wearing when they see you next, even if it’s nothing at all.
Let Someone Else Do the Talking
Now let’s be clear, I do NOT mean handing your phone to your friend.
What I mean is this: sex is everywhere, from social media to music, it’s nearly impossible to escape. Well, why not embrace it! If you see a sex scene in a movie, hear a sexy song verse, or stumble upon a suggestive photo while scrolling through Instagram, send it their way. Send them the movie clip, song lyric, or photo and tell them it makes you think of them, or that you want to reenact it with them later.
For some reason, sexting has been painted as eloquently written filth coupled with sexy banter as if we’re all these sexy wordsmiths with no room for error. Well, friends, race & raunchy ain’t for everyone, in fact, some of us a pretty terrible at it; also, some of us don’t love being called names and learning new slang for genitalia we never wanted in our vocabularies. Guess what, there’s all alternative; call me old fashioned, but love is pretty sexy if you ask me. If you can’t bring yourself to type the filth, don’t bother!
Tell the person on the other end of the conversation how much you love them, the seemingly insignificant things you love about them, what they mean to you, why you admire them, that you’re proud of them, or that they have a cute butt (because everyone loves to hear they have a cute butt).
Love is sexy people, and everyone could use a little more love in their lives.
Know Your Limits
Never feel like you have to say something that you don’t want to or anything at all for that matter. If your fingers are hovering over those keys and your drawing blanks, it might not be right, and if it doesn’t feel right don’t force it. Trust me, you don’t want to be scrolling through those messages tomorrow wishing you could unsay those very unlike you things. If it’s organic and the flow is smooth, go with it, but if you’re torturing yourself to get a message out, ask yourself if that’s really what you want to do.
At the end of the day, it’s all about consent. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, and don’t let someone bombard you with unwanted or aggressive messages.