How to Keep Passion in Your Sex Life

Passion and sexual satisfaction typically diminish in longer-term relationships, but this decline isn’t inevitable.

Have you ever noticed a decrease in passion or frequency of sexual interaction your relationship? Unfortunately, this is not at all uncommon.  Within committed relationships, a wide range of factors may change your sexual satisfaction for better, or worse. The honeymoon phase always wears off eventually, but it’s just one step more tragic if your sex life fades away with it.

This being said, every relationship is vastly different. We mustn’t hold ourselves or our sex lives to anyone else’s standards. The media gives us the impression that when you’re in a relationship showers don’t exist without shower sex and the lights don’t go out without sex being had. Well, this just isn’t the case. Though not being able to keep your hands off each other in the initial stages of a relationship is a pretty standard phenomenon, but it can mellow out eventually for several reasons from stress, happiness to parenthood and that is totally okay. There’s something to be said for being comfortable with a partner, it can be truly lovely. Though an extreme level of comfort or a “rut” can occur after time and no one deserves as “blah” sex life.

So, let’s talk passion.

We know that attitudes and behaviors change through the course of relationships, especially when a couple is together beyond the 3-year mark. Research shows that couples are most satisfied with their sex lives during their first six months together. With both 83% men and women claiming to be satisfied during those initial months. Only about half of the participating couples were satisfied after 3 years, with women at 55% and men at 43% and the rest felt dissatisfied (27% Women / 41% Men) or worse, neutral (18% Women / 16% Men.)

Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who:

  • Had sex most frequently
  • Received more oral sex
  • Had more consistent orgasms
  • Incorporated more variety of sexual acts, mood setting, and sexual communication

Research usually should be taken with a grain of salt, and thought about in the limitations that it holds. However, this study could not spell it out in a more simple manner! When you start to question how to keep the passion alive in your long term relationship, read the 4 points above. Easy.

If you’re feeling unfulfilled in your sexual relationship, there are a number of ways to attack that problem head-on, one of which being: seeking to discover your sexual self. Because we don’t want anyone’s sexual self-going undiscovered, we’ve put together a user-friendly guide for you! Check it out here.

Additionally, the best remedy to any tension or unfulfillment in any sort of relationship is honesty and open conversation. Don’t know where to begin? Ask us! We’re always here to help.





Co- Founder of Psych n Sex, previous writer and campus educator for the Kinsey Institute & published psychology researcher. Manhattan girl obsessed with post ww2 abstract expressionism, beet juice, vintage clothing & Scandinavia.


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